In 2001 Microsoft's XBOX had its killer app, its console-selling title, it had Halo: Combat Evolved. Say what you want about the Halo series, there's no denying the acclaim and success Halo: CE achieved. Selling over 5 million copies, many of those also selling XBOX consoles, achieving perfect scores with multiple reputable critics and earning a place in the hearts of not-so-reputable critics (like myself,) Halo: CE leaves a legacy that is difficult to surpass. Now ten years later, Microsoft has announced Halo: Anniversary, and I'm pissed.
For those of you that pay no attention to even watered down articles about E3, which is basically the Mecca of pasty white kids everywhere, Halo: Anniversary is a 'remake' of Halo: CE. Now I'm enclosing the word 'remake' in those obnoxious, pretentious inverted commas for a reason; 343 Studios barely remade anything. The easiest way to think of Halo: Anniversary is that it's Combat Evolved, a 10 year old game, wrapped in shiny new graphics, and your can bet your ass Microsoft is going to be charging you standard RRP for the pleasure of playing the game that was released 10 years ago, completely unchanged besides its graphics. If this doesn't make you angry, you're retarded and you don't count.
Halo: Combat Evolved was made by Bungie Studios, however they made the decision to sell their IP to Microsoft, due to them being a small, money-lacking developer. This meant that they did not own the IP for the game they created, and they couldn't simply start producing whatever Halo stuff they wanted. When Bungie moved away from the Halo franchise after Reach, Microsoft immediately turfed the IP over to 343 Studios, a Microsoft owned studio dedicated solely to milking the Halo cow for as much money as possible. (Yeah, more than it already has, if the udder isn't about to come the fuck off, you aren't milking hard enough.)
Before I unleash my torrents of unending hate upon this game, I'm gonna quickly go over some things I think are good beforehand so you don't think I'm some kind of dedicated-hate-machine (don't wanna blow my cover.)
The ability to, in real time, switch between current and classic graphics to see the difference achieved is cool. While watching the trailer, I was amazed at the leaps forward that have been made in graphical design. Now 100,000 PC gamers are going to make wise-ass remarks about graphical prowess and how consoles are holding graphics back, as if a PS3 stands in the parking lot of major games developers, mugging anyone who makes anything higher resolution than the PS3 can handle. As much as I hate to pull you out of your safety-niche stupor, video games are not about graphics. Graphics are a wonderful bonus, I absolutely agree, but a game with shitty graphics can be better than a game that looks good. Regardless, this is an argument for another time (and it will probably result in people who disagree with me being stabbed.)
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| The Chief - How I choose to remember him |
As much as I'd love to write another paragraph here about another feature of Anniversary that I like the addition of, there's pretty much nothing I can write. It's not because there's several poorly implemented features that I'm going to whine about, it's that there's pretty much no other change to this game. This really is the core issue I have with the game; it's not a new game.
I remember while watching the trailer, one of the developers said "This is really a game for all the long-time Halo fans who want to re-live the nostalgia of Halo: CE." You're a fucking moron. Do you want to know what long time Halo fans do to relive the nostalgia of Halo: CE? They play fucking Halo: CE. This guy literally says "The entire game still runs on the old code." So what, you guys are glorified re-painters?
This isn't a game for long time Halo fans, this is a game for Microsoft to make money from by releasing it in November and having it sell at Christmas at $60 each. Don't fucking lie to me and tell me this is for fans; we never wanted a remake because we love Halo: CE how it is. Tacking on a re-used multiplayer/co-op engine from Reach does not make it worth an entirely new title at RRP.
In short, fuck Microsoft, fuck 343 Studios and my condolences to Bungie as they watch from afar as their flagship IP is murdered (even more) for profit.
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